Madman

Life…a collection of minutes…. seconds and most importantly moments. Some moments are good, while others are bad. Some are exciting, some outright disappointing. Some bring a new lease of life, while some just take your breath away. But hidden between these moments, and occurring frequently are the dreaded embarrassing moments, and those are countless. It can be anything from entering the she-room instead of the he-room, wearing a polka dotted shirt or riding a pink bicycle. But the epitome of embarrassment has to be the penultimate moment of manhood. Just as a man is about to embark on a sexual escapade, he stops for a second to open the box of the rubber….the safety net….fireman’s hat…aka…condoms.

Now I agree that this is the most distracting moment, but whilst one tries to make the action as swift and as fashionable as humanly possible, without any fault of yours, pops out the unforgiving, unacceptable and infuriating surprise from the box. “The Condom User Manual”.

Who in the world has ever in the recorded history of mankind or mass-produced contraceptives has ever stopped in his straps to read this piece of literature.

Which self-respecting man would actually pause and read this and let all his hard work go cold?

And while you try to recover from the embarrassment without attracting too much attention to the piece of paper you can’t help but wonder what were the guys at the manufacturing unit thinking? This is not exactly an epic piece of written literature. You wouldn’t find a septuagenarian or a teenager for that matter sitting on a lazy Saturday afternoon reading through this manual. Someone please explain the reason for this manual to me.

Is this the condom manufacturer’s way of patronising the end-user or is it just some FDA regulation for ever devolving human race?

Until next time,

Keep smiling.